CrossFit
On my way home from running errands earlier I stopped by this gym called Body Construction to see about personal training. I ended up chatting with the owner for an hour and told him all about my move, my aspiration of becoming a pro wrestler, and my weight loss. After inquiring a little more about what exactly I thought I needed he mentioned this program called CrossFit, which I had heard of but never looked into. It sounded awesome, just what I was looking for, I signed up, and lo and behold my first class was tonight! IT. WAS. AWESOME.
I was pretty sure I was going to die after our first round of exercises, but of course I didn’t. All it took was a little determination, singing “Cult of Personality” to myself, and I pushed through. There were two more rounds after that and then we were done. This was just the foundations class though! I have five more foundation classes, then I get into the real meat of it - the work really begins.
I’m so excited for this CrossFit adventure. Karen, one of the girls I met in class, was telling me about her friend who lost 110lbs doing CrossFit. ONE HUNDRED AND TEN POUNDS. I’m stoked. I know I’m going to go to hell and back, but I also know that I’m going to conquer it. After all, I will do almost anything to attain my goal. It is everything to me.
Right now, though, I’m going to go take a hot shower because my legs are killing me and I smell like sweat…aka hard work ;)
This = Love
In less twelve hours’ time time I will officially be a resident of Tampa, Florida. It’s such an unreal notion that I’m not sure if I believe that it’s happening myself. This move has been the single most important decision that I’ve made in my entire life. I couldn’t be happier, but I’m also scared as hell. Life will never be the same after this. I’m giving up college, something that I was dead set on my entire life, to make this move. I’m giving up my family, not literally but in the sense that I won’t be seeing them every single day, to make this move. I’m giving up my home sweet Nola, a place like no other that I could never imagine leaving, to make this move. I’m giving up comfort, familiarity, and a life without much struggle to make this move. Those are all really hard things to give up, but I always say that nothing worth having is ever easy.
“It’s in the eyes of children as they leave for the very first time.”
However, I could look at all of this another way. Instead of looking at it as giving things up, I could look at it as gaining the best of things. After all, I did make this monumentally difficult decision all in the name of pursuing my dream. My dream. Lots of people have dreams. I’d venture to say that almost everybody has a dream, an aspiration, something they would refer to as their life’s ambition. Now I realize that my dream of becoming a professional wrestling isn’t the most usual of dreams, but what can I say? It’s my dream - the thing that preoccupies my mind when I’m trying to sleep at night and I would do almost anything to achieve.
“If you could be anywhere that you wanted to be,
with anyone that you wanted to be with,
do anything that you wanted to do,
what would it be and who would it be with you?”
I expect the experiences I have down in Florida to be like no other. I’m so ready to meet new people, learn my way around an entirely new city that I’ve never been to before, start my new job, decorate my apartment, stay up late chatting about life with the Meredith to my Christina (aka my roomie), take acting classes, and most importantly start wrestling training at FCW in January. I get this surreal feeling when I think about it. I’ve known for ages that wrestling is my passion; I’ve known since my senior year of high school beyond a shadow of a doubt that wrestling is what I wanted to do with my life; and I’ve know that wrestling is what I was going to do with my life since I decided to completely turn my life around and get healthy on December 21, 2010. To quote Alberto del Rio, “It is my destiny.” I truly believe that. I have to believe that. I feel like if you don’t have a fire inside of you that makes you believe that you’re destined to follow your dream and achieve your goals, then you won’t.
So as I sit here in my completely empty bedroom, the one that I’ve occupied for the last eight years of my life, I feel sad and sentimental. However, I will not allow those feelings that typically scare people to overshadow what I am doing all of this for. After all…
This is why we do it, this is worth the pain;
This is why we bow down and get back up again;
This is where the heart lies; this is from above;
Love is this; this is love.
…see you guys in Florida!
“This = Love” by The Script
Moment 4 Life
I honestly have no words for how absolutely phenomenal this weekend was except that it was the best weekend of my life. A few weeks back when I found out that I wasn’t able to go to MITB I was gutted, but now I realize that if I had gone to that then I wouldn’t have been able to go to SummerSlam. It was so refreshing to be around so many people that share the same passion as I do for wrestling. Granted it’s a bit different since I’m going to start training in a few months, but still - they love it; I love it; it’s all good.
I haven’t really told too many people, but when I was on vacation with my family it was decided that I would be moving to Tampa in January. Well that has changed again…I WILL NOW BE MOVING IN A MONTH and I couldn’t be more stoked about it. I’m so ready to get out of Louisiana and get on the path to my career! I officially dropped out of school on Monday right before Raw, which sounds really bad, but in hindsight I should have realized that going to school, working, and eventually going to train wouldn’t all pan out. When I do something I have to commit fully, and if I was trying to get ready to train while going to school my whole heart would not be in either one of them, thus producing mediocre results. I don’t halfass things, I think I’ve made that perfectly clear. As happy and sure as I am about this decision, it does not come without its consequences. My mom is trying as hard as she can to support me, but I know she’s really struggling. That’s just about school, though. When I told her about school she stormed out of the room crying. I didn’t really expect anything different, but I’m praying she’ll come around. AND I have been cut off by my grandmother. If you knew Grammy this wouldn’t be shocking at all, but it’s still extremely hurtful. As a very loyal person I believe in supporting your loved ones’ decisions even if you don’t necessarily agree (as long as it’s not harmful to their wellbeing). But as I told my mom earlier in regards to my grandmother, I don’t want anything from somebody who would be that low when I’m just doing what I believe is best for myself.
I know that if I don’t move now I may never do it. I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t give it a shot. And I’m not too proud to come back admitting that my mom was right and it was too hard, but I refuse to do that until I’ve experienced it and I know.
Anyway, I’m very happy with my decision. My future roomie MJ and I have been searching for apartments online and we’ve found some that we really like. I’m not sure when we’re headed down to Tampa to check them out, but it’s gotta be soon since we’re moving in exactly a month! I wasn’t sure if I’d be in good enough shape yet, but I know if I work my ass off for the next four and a half months I will be ready to start in January. I want it so bad and I’m so ready to start this adventure. I actually start to cry sometimes when I think about it - that’s how happy I am. Life is finally going how I’ve always wanted it to and I believe that there’s a rhyme and a reason for everything. I know it’s not going to be easy at times, but nothing worth having ever is.
“‘Cause everybody dies, but not everybody lives.” -Drake
Work ethic has been on my mind a lot lately. As you may or may not know I recently started a new job in the stockroom of Victoria’s Secret. It’s way different than my old job as a sales associate. It involves a lot of lifting, moving, climbing, etc. and I leave everyday absolutely exhausted. I also leave completely satisfied. It makes me feel fantastic to know that not only am I making money for my hard work, but that people see I’m working hard and appreciate it.
I’ve never been the type of person to back down from a challenge, whether it be a dare or a task. I wasn’t good at high school, but I tried my hardest and ended up graduating with a pretty decent GPA and a bomb scholarship. I don’t like college, but while I’m there I’m going to do my best. Hey, I just got a B in English 102! That goes to show you that hard work does pay off. When I was still working at Lane Bryant I did my job to the best of my ability even though I hated it and I was quite often complimented by my bosses. Those compliments made me feel great and encouraged me to continue working hard. I started a diet on December 21, 2010 and I have lost 72.5 lbs so far. I still have quite a bit to go, but I’m going to keep on chugging!
My best friend called me earlier and told me she wants to quit her job. As it so happens she also works at Victoria’s Secret, but on the floor as a sales associate. I understand her frustration because it’s very different than previous jobs that either of us have worked and, to be frank, our boss is kind of a bitch. The only thing I do not understand, though, is that she’s barely worked there for two weeks and she’s already ready to put in her two weeks. I don’t believe in throwing in the towel before you’ve even given something a chance.
I hate the fact that, by definition, leaving my job at Lane Bryant makes me a quitter. It’s engrained in me not to quit. That’s how I know I can and will make it in wrestling. Not only is my absolute insatiable love a huge motivating factor, but giving up is something I cannot and refuse to do. I have faith that my work ethic is going to pay off in the long run. I have said this countless times before: I cannot imagine my future without wrestling. As naive as it sounds, I know that no matter how difficult it is to make it, I can achieve whatever I put my mind to through sheer hard work and dedication.
I know this is kind of all over the place, but what I’m trying to say is that having a good work ethic will get you far in life. Unfortunately some people aren’t innately born with one. In my last post I talked about how I’m going to embrace any fear I encounter and allow it to inspire me to greatness. That takes work. It truly is one of the most difficult things to not let your fears and doubts consume and overpower you, and instead conquer them. However, I truly believe that if you go into something with the mentality that you will not quit no matter how hard or scary it gets, then chances are you will succeed.
Dictionary is the only place that success comes before work. Hard work is the price we must pay for success. I think you can accomplish anything if you’re willing to pay the price. -Vince Lombardi
If you’re not scared, then your heart’s not in it. -My coworker Shannon
Yesterday I was sitting on my bed thinking about the future and I got really scared out of nowhere. I just kept asking myself the same questions, “What if I don’t make it? What will I do then?” I literally cannot imagine my future without wrestling. I can picture myself finishing school, getting married, buying a house, etc., but it all comes back to wrestling. The thought of not making it actually scares the hell out of me.
I tried brushed the feeling off and left for my second day at my new job. I was introduced to Shannon, who would be showing me the ropes of the stockroom. After chatting for a while I told her how I was moving in two years to train. Turns out she’s actually a WWE fan. We talked about it sporadically for the rest of my shift and she asked what my plan was. I told her my plan, my backup plan, and my backup backup plan. I also told her about the paralyzing fear I had been feeling earlier in the day. She looked me dead in the eye and said, “If you’re not scared, then your heart’s not in it.” That really made things clear for me.
So I guess the point of this isn’t really about wrestling, but it’s just for me to say that from now on I’m going to be bold. I’m going to allow myself to be scared, but I’m going to let that fear inspire me to greatness. I will look fear straight in the face and tell it that it will not define me. I’ve been so set on working to save money and taking classes so I can finish my degree faster and move sooner that I haven’t given myself time to take risks. I want to be adventurous and spice up my life. Of course I’m going to hit bumps along the way, but that’s what makes it interesting. So here’s to the future!
Well-behaved women rarely make history.
What drives your passion?
I’m just sitting here thinking about that question. Passion, in this case, being wrestling. Why are we (the members of the TWC) so passionate about wrestling? Not what made you fall in love with it initially, but what keeps you coming back? What about it makes you so emotional - shed so many tears?
This whole line of questioning was basically spurred by a tweet from Meghan telling me to get out of the fetal position during the ending of Raw. She was being serious. When she left my house I was literally laying in the fetal position just watching the exchange between Triple H and Vince. When I read that I thought, “Who in their right mind curls up into the fetal position over a wrestling storyline?” Me, that’s who. And it’s because this is what I’m passionate about. This is what draws these inexplicable emotions out of me like nothing else in the world can.
Why am I so passionate about wrestling? I wish I had a straight answer. I wish I knew exactly why I’m so in love with and want to one day completely immerse myself in the crazy world known as the wrestling industry. I think the main reason is because I know wrestling will always be here. Sure I may be unhappy with a storyline or upset that my favorite lost a match, but I’m nearly positive that wrestling will never leave me. I can’t say that about anything else in my life. It sounds crazy, but I have put my trust and faith in wrestling.
So I want to know: What drives your passion?
I had this weird moment tonight…
It was right when the three count was made and CM Punk became the WWE Champion. I jumped off of the couch, which I had previously been sitting on the edge of, and started screaming. Initially I was screaming because Punk had won. That was it. Not because he was WWE Champion, not because it was his last match, but simply because he had won. He won this absolutely incredible match that epitomizes wrestling for me. Then I momentarily stopped jumping up and down, took a deep breath, and realized that CM Punk was finally WWE Champion.
It struck me as weird that that wasn’t the reason I was completely marking out. And then I slowly realized that this wasn’t just any ol’ WWE Championship match. This was a match that brought me back to why I’m so in love with this industry and made me remember why I want to make this my career. It fueled a fire in me. It fueled the same fire that was lit the first time I saw Ricky Steamboat and Randy Savage’s WrestleMania III match. And now, just like that match, CM Punk v. John Cena at Money in the Bank 2011 is one of my favorite matches of all time.
So thank you CM Punk. Thank you John Cena. And thank you WWE. Thank you for putting on one of the most incredible wrestling matches that I have ever witnessed. Thank you intensifying my passion for this industry. Thank you for putting your bodies on the line for the sake of having an unforgettable match because I will never forget this night.
I can’t stop thinking about Randy Savage’s death. I wouldn’t necessarily say it’s affecting me, but it’s definitely made a huge impact. There are just those people that define wrestling to me. They are wrestling. Macho Man was one of them. From my years as a sporadic fan to these last four or so years as an absolute diehard, I can’t imagine my “journey” of becoming this in love with wrestling without Randy Savage. Sure, his glory days were before I ever existed, but that’s not to say he doesn’t define part of what all this magic means to me.
His match against Ricky Steamboat at WrestleMania III for the Intercontinental Championship is my favorite match of all time. There’s no way that I could count how many times I’ve watched, studied, envied that match and there’s no way that I could ever get tired of it. Nothing will ever top that to me. No steel cage match, no “I Quit” match, no ladder match will ever be as amazing to me as that plain ol’ singles match (if you can even call it a “plain ol’ singles match”). That match is one of the most pivotal aspects of my love for wrestling.
Randy Savage, his career, and the legacy he created just mean so much to me. I’m still shocked and heartbroken about his sudden passing, and I doubt that a day will go by for a very long time that I don’t think of him. He is partially to thank for opening up this wonderful world to me.
RIP, Macho Man. We love you and miss you. Most of all, thank you.
(via mericuhlife)
This whole thing with Edge really hits home for me. Years ago my mom was involved in a car accident where some girl slammed into her car. It broke her neck, but she was lucky enough to survive and not become paralyzed. Because of the trauma, the discs in her neck began degenerating. Within the last few years it had gotten so bad that the doctors told her if she didn’t have surgery soon she would definitely become paralyzed. She had her surgery scheduled for November 5, 2010, a Friday. Well the previous Saturday, she completely lost the use of her right arm. It was numb and she couldn’t move it at all. To put it bluntly, I was witnessing paralysis takeover my mother’s body. It was absolutely terrifying not knowing if she would ever regain the use of her right arm even after the surgery. She had the exact same kind of surgery that Edge had (the only difference is her’s was on C4, C5, and C6, while his was on C5, C6, and C7) and, thankfully, when it was all said and done, she was able to move her arm again.
As heartbroken as I am about Edge retiring, it’s for the best. We all know that. His health, safety, and well-being are the most important things. The fact that he said his arms have been numb lately scares the hell out of me. It reminds me of holding my mom on her bed while she sobbed because she didn’t know if she was going to have to live the rest of her life with only one useable arm.
Having watched my mom go through that, and knowing Edge is going through that same fear and pain makes my respect grow for him inexplicably. And the fact that he just retired from the only thing he’s known for his entire life, his passion, and his lifelong dream just over a week removed from him retaining the World Heavyweight Championship on the grandest stage of them all just speaks volumes about his character.
So thank you Edge. You’re a phenomenal wrestler and a tremendous human being. My respect for you knows no bounds. And you truly are one of my heroes.
